


Was It All Just a Dream?

by hxlfaliive



Category: Dream Team - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: A little comfort ig, Angst, Dialogue Heavy, Dream Team SMP Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Dream Team SMP Spoilers, Dream doesn't think he's done anything wrong, Emotional Hurt, Hurt Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Pain, Prison Dream, Sapnap Visits Dream, not much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:40:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29119116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hxlfaliive/pseuds/hxlfaliive
Summary: Sapnap visits Dream in prison.“Did you really mean what you said? That's nothing matters to you?” Sapnap swallowed harshly. He turned his head, breaking off their shared gaze once more. “Did…” He sucked in a long breath. “Did I ever mean anything to you?”Dream hesitated before scoffing; he was good at pretending. “Of course not. Why would-”“Cut the bullshit, Dream!” Sapnap suddenly yelled. He rolled back his shoulders as he suddenly marched up to the bars that separated the two. He wrapped his palms around the bars, sticking his face in between them so he could see Dream clearly. “I've been…I was friends with you for years. I know when you lie.”
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 291





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is posted under the consent of the CCs. If either of them come forward saying that they are uncomfortable with ships/fanfics in general, this will be be deleted immediately.  
> The characters in this post are based on the !RP characters they play on the SMP.  
> Feedback, kudos, and comments appreciated <3

The cell was dark. And humid. And so bitterly empty.

The lantern popped and cracked in the corner of the room, the only sounds Dream had heard besides his own in nearly twenty hours. The flame barely moved, casting a stale pattern of light across the blackstone. There wasn’t much ventilation in a cell surrounded by lava, it was horribly suffocating. 

Dream stared at the lantern from his seat at the desk a few feet away. There was something mocking about the flame that stared back at him. It was the only other thing that held any life besides himself in the cell, but yet it stood so mockingly still. Besides the steady glow it emitted, it was no different than any other inanimate object within the cell. 

He sighed and gripped the feather pen between his fingers, tearing his gaze away from the flame. 

He tried to keep his mind off of being in isolation as much as he could. He made a friend through his journal. Any thought, all thoughts, went into the book. He wanted to have a tangible recording of his thoughts--himself--so he’d never lose it. Isolation was good for no man.

Nearly a week into it and Dream felt himself slipping further into the claws of despair, anger, resentment. He thought--he did that a lot now--about  _ everything.  _ Everything that had happened, how everyone turned on  _ him. _ They ruined his life. He just wanted to help Them. Why did they turn on him?

A sudden noise made his head turn towards the blockaded entrance of the cell, then turn a sharp gaze to the clock clutched permanently in his left hand.  _ That's early.  _ It wasn't meal time, or even the regular time, though seldom, that people visited. Dream’s head perked up as he shifted to face the noise, curious but hesitant.

The sound of pistons whirring grew closer and louder as the platform trudged closer over the lava. He didn't hear Sam, or Punz, or even Tommy. Whoever was coming across was alone and quiet. As soon as the pistons finished their trek, the familiar sound of the lowering wall started. Dream stood, moved closer to the bars as the wall steadily lowered. He began to dust himself off and straighten his clothes, finishing by running a single hand through blonde hair that certainly hadn't been clean in days. He wanted to look more composed than he felt. He was good at pretending.

Anticipation grew as the walls were also done withdrawing. Dream closed his eyes, sucking in a deep breath, and opened them again to meet his visitor.

His knees suddenly went weak.

“Hello...Dream,” Sapnap said hesitantly.

Dream wanted to throw up suddenly. Bile pooled in the back of his throat threatening the inescapable nausea. His palms started to sweat as his heart raced.

_ Out of everyone why him? _

Out of everyone and everything Dream had written about, he refused to write about  _ him.  _ It hurt. It stung. It made him angry. Something about losing Sapnap specifically made his heart ache in a new way, an indescribable way. 

“Hello.” He replied stiffly.

Sapnap seemed to tense as Dream spoke. He shifted from heel to heel, rubbing his palms together. He looked as uncomfortable as Dream felt himself.

“Why did you come here?”

“Pardon?” Sapnap’s eyes that had previously been wandering the expanses of Dream’s cell suddenly snapped back to Dream. The eye contact was fleeting, as he quickly went back to the dark walls.

“I said,” Dream took a step towards the bars. “Why the fuck did you come here.” He sniped, tone harsher than he had intended. He grimaced slightly inside as Sapnap visibly cringed as his muscles tensed again. He wasn't wearing any armor. Everyone wore armor when they came to visit Dream. 

“Why? Should I have not?” Sapnap straightened as he bit back, still not making eye contact. “Is there something wrong with an old friend visiting you? What other plans did you have? Counting the amount of bricks that make your cell?”

Dream furrowed his eyebrows.

“I’m content.”

“I bet you are.”

“I am.” 

There was a long pause of silence that stretched thickly between them. 

Sapnap broke it first. “Why’d you do it?”

He looked up again, finally, actually locking gazes with Dream. He didn't look away this time. It was weird looking at his former friend this way. His actual face. His mask had been confiscated before Dream was imprisoned. At first he felt exposed, vulnerable, but the feeling slowly faded as he became used to not having it. But, here, with Sapnap’s dark eyes roaming his face then holding his gaze, he felt that same weakness creep into his gut again. It swirled with the reawakened nausea. Dream wanted to puke again. 

“Do what?” Dream decided to play innocent. He didn't need to be blamed again. He knew what happened and he knew damn well so did Sapnap.

“Leave me?” 

Well, Dream wasn't expecting that. 

Sapnap must have seen the look of confusion flit across Dream eyes and abandoned his own question. He filled the silence with another.

“Did you really mean what you said? That's nothing matters to you?” Sapnap swallowed harshly. He turned his head, breaking off their shared gaze once more. “Did…” He sucked in a long breath. “Did I ever  _ mean anything  _ to you?” 

Dream hesitated before scoffing; he was good at pretending. “Of course not. Why would-”

“Cut the bullshit, Dream!” Sapnap suddenly yelled. He rolled back his shoulders as he suddenly marched up to the bars that separated the two. He wrapped his palms around the bars, sticking his face in between them so he could see Dream clearly. “I've been…I was friends with you for  _ years.  _ I know when you lie.”

Dream’s eye widened then narrowed again, stepping closer to Sapnap as well. “Don’t act tough with me.”

“I'll do damn well whatever I want!” Sapnap’s hand flew through the bars, nestling tightly into Dream’s shirt. He pulled Dream forward with an incredible amount of strength Dream always forgot he had. His chest hit the iron bars with a  _ thunk _ , effortlessly winding him. He now had no choice but to stare at Sapnap, face only a breath away. The hand in Dream’s shirt tightened. This close, Dream could practically feel the way Sapnap’s heart was pounding, his breathing was tense and quick, and when he looked him directly in the eyes, his stomach churned again.

“You’re the one in prison.  _ You  _ don’t get to tell  _ me  _ what to do anymore.” The tears that glossed over Sapnap’s eyes began to pool in the corners. His voice, however, didn’t waver. 

“I don’t know what you’re expecting me to say here, Sap.” Dream gritted through his teeth to keep any outside emotions from slipping past. 

“I don’t fucking know?! I’m sorry, for starters? I miss you, maybe?” Sapnap suddenly pushed back against Dream’s chest, sending him stumbling backwards for his balance. Sapnap turned around, running a hand through his hair in frustration.  _ It’s a lot longer.  _ Dream noted.

Sapnap paced to the other side of the room, sliding against the blackstone, down into a huddled, seated position. “Why did I come here…” He mumbled, more as a statement than a question, more to himself than Dream. 

Dream stood shell shocked for a moment, eyes locked on Sapnap. He wanted so badly to just hug him, tell him everything was okay, tell him he was sorry. But he couldn’t, he shouldn’t. Everything wasn’t okay,  _ He  _ couldn’t be sorry--wasn’t allowed. That wasn’t his role. 

He walked over to Sapnap, squatting against the same wall as Sapnap, just separated by bars. Sapnap looked up, then away just as quickly, but Dream saw it. He saw the shimmer of wet tear tracks smeared over the slopes of his cheeks. 

He breathed out slowly. “I did what I thought was best.”

Sapnap scoffed wetly. “Leaving me and George behind? How was that the best thing?”

“I can’t really explain it.”

“You're making excuses, Dream. Own up to it.”

Dream felt annoyance bubble in the back of his throat, partly at Sapnap, partly at himself. “I was  _ protecting  _ you. You can't go around trusting everyone that lives here.”

“I trusted you!” Sapnap snapped. “I trusted you and look where that got us.”

Dream paused, sucking in a shallow breath. He looked at Sapnap, who was wiping away the tear streaks from his cheeks with the sleeve of his black undershirt. He wasn’t looking at Dream anymore, and when he did, it didn’t feel right. Sapnap wasn’t looking at a friend. He wasn’t looking at Dream. He was looking at a stranger--an enemy. 

Dream closed his eyes briefly.

“I’m sorry.” 

Dream heard the sudden shifting of clothes; Sapnap had turned to face him. So, he continued. 

“I fucked up. I don’t know why I...I thought I could help...All they do is fight, Sapnap. I wanted it to stop. I wanted things to go back to normal.”

They sat in a tense silence for a few seconds, only being broken by the occasional pop of lava from the outside of the cell. Dream bit the inside of his cheek.  _ Just fucking say something, anything. _ He pleaded internally to Sapnap. He didn’t look at him though, but her could practically hear him thinking. He knew Sapnap enough to know this. 

To his relief, Sapnap’s reply followed shortly. “Normal…” He sighed, there was a small undertone of wistfulness to it. “I don’t think things will ever go back to normal.”

“Not even with me gone?”

“No, things aren’t any better. If anything, they just keep getting worse. They just keep finding people to fight with.” Another stretch of silence. “I miss it.”

Dream’s eyebrows pinched and looked back up at Sapnap. He was turned fully towards the cell, knees crossed and pressed against the bars. His eyes were trained on Dream, he could tell that they had been for a while. He wasn’t crying anymore, but the smeared wetness on his cheeks glimmered gently in the torchlight, reminding Dream that he caused that. His heart clenched. 

Sapnap’s expression was a mix of too many emotions, making it unreadable. 

“I miss us.” Sapnap continued. “You, me, George. Remember when we first built the Community House? God, those were the days.” A ghost of a smile stretched at the corners of his mouth.

“Yeah,” Dream smiled back. “Remember when we used to spar? I whooped your ass  _ so  _ much.”

“I know,” He rolled his eyes. “‘I suck at pvp and need to just get good’ blah blah blah.” He held up his hand, using it to imitate a person talking. 

A small wheeze escaped Dream before he could catch it. “Well you do suck.”

“I  _ know _ , Dream.”

“You just get distracted too easily.”

Sapnap's eyes widened suddenly and he turned away from Dream suddenly. He covered his face with a balled fist and coughed quietly. “...yeah.” He pulled his legged towards his chest, wrapping his arms around them tightly. Dream could now see the light red that dusted the very tops on his cheeks. The warm glow of torches almost washed it out, it was so faint.

Silence again. Dream didn’t mind it this time, the tension was slowly beginning to ease. But, he didn’t want it to go on for too long. He didn’t want Sapnap to leave.

“Did I mean something to you?” Dream parroted back Sapnap’s earlier question. 

Sapnap blinked, looking over Dream’s face. “What the fuck kind of question is that? Of course you did, Dream. You meant...well, everything to me. Did you realize that? It was always just you and me--ever since day one. You were my best friend. Even when Bad and Callahan and George joined us, hell, even with everyone else, I always knew that you had my back.” His voice suddenly cracked, Dream watched and felt his heart heave in regret and bile threaten nausea again as the tears began to drift down his cheeks again. He sniffed quietly. “At least, I thought you did.” He sighed, wiping away the tears again, to no avail. “You know, you never answered that question.”

“I did-”

“No, you  _ lied.  _ Cut the shit. Why do you always have to lie to me, Dream?” The smile that Sapnap wore faded as his eyebrows pitched together again in cautious thought. “I doubt you even cared back then…” His voice was hoarse again, soft, and barely above a whisper. 

Dream shook his head, shuffling towards the bars and closer to Sapnap. “No, no. I promise I did. I...still do.”

“I can’t trust you anymore, Dream.” He turned to look at Dream. His expression made Dream’s chest crumple in defeat. He knew he had messed up for the last time. Sapnap’s smile was not one of joy or excitement that Dream had seen before, that Dream loved. No, this was much the opposite. The lines at the corner of his mouth were tight, dimples nowhere to be seen. It was a smile of regret and remorse. Sapnap was  _ hurt.  _ Dream hurt him. “I..” He glanced back at the entrance to the cell, then at Dream. A tear drifted down his cheek. Dream watched it because he couldn’t bare to look at Sapnap in the eyes anymore. “I should go.” 

Dream suddenly straightened.  _ No, no, no, no, no. He can’t leave now. Please.  _ But to Dream’s horror, Sapnap had already begun to shift away from the iron bars in order to stand up. He couldn’t let him leave. He couldn’t be alone again. Dream acted fast, reaching out through the bars to wrap his fingers around Sapnap’s wrist, pulling him back down against the bars. “Please.” He whispered, his face inches from Sapnap’s, bars being the only thing separating them. “Please don’t leave, Sap.”

Sapnap met his gaze, eyes searching for any sign of emotion outside of what’s carefully curated by Dream. He sighed, relaxing under his grip. Dream released him, and he didn’t move immediately. “Dream.”

“You know I can’t stay here forever.”

“I...I know.” Dream glanced down at his hand, which was suspended hesitantly between the two of them. He reached out wordlessly, lacing his fingers between Sapnap’s. Sapnap glanced down at their hands, then back at Dream. He sighed again, this time in exhaustion. “Sap..”

Sapnap shook his head; Dream stopped talking. Sapnap reached through the bars this time, sliding the palm is his hand over the underside of Dream’s chin. He rubbed his thumb gently over the light stubble that had begun to grow in since his imprisonment. 

“Dream. I loved you.” He confessed. Using the hand resting under his chin, he carefully pulled Dream towards the bars, resting his forehead against the bars. Dream closed his eyes. He breathed in deeply, holding his breath for a moment. He exhaled shakily as he felt Sapnap press a light kiss to the exposed skin of his forehead between the vertical bars. He hovered for a moment before leaning back. Dream opened his eyes, leaning back slightly. Sapnap smiled at him apologetically. “But I can’t keep letting you hurt people. I can’t let you hurt me again.”

With that he stood carefully, standing back far enough that Dream couldn’t reach out to him again. “Take care, Dream.”

Dream blinked, then again, then blinked for a third time, frozen in a wave of emotions that crashed down on him like an anvil. He didn’t know what to feel, there was too much to feel. Sapnap looked back at Dream before the piston activated, pulling the wall up again, but his face was void. There was no smile, no expression, no...nothing. Dream wanted to scream at him, but nothing came. 

The doors closed, leaving Dream alone yet again. 

He opened his mouth again, this time a terrible scream came ripping through his throat as an ugly emotion surfaced to the forefront of his mind. 

“Fuck!” He screamed. He turned to the object closest to him and swung. As soon as his fist collided with the blackstone brick walls, he screamed again. Pain shot up his arm, blood splattered the wall, Dream ignored it. 

“Fuck it all!” He screamed again, storming over to his desk. He hurled the chair away from the desk, then began picking up the individual contents that resided on the desk, throwing them in random directions across the room in a blind rage. Every item thrown was also assaulted with a string of curses and screams. 

When he ran out of things to throw, Dream stumbled backwards, back meeting the wall, and slowly slid down, hugging his knees against his chest.

Dream sniffled, reaching up to wipe away the tears he couldn’t remember when had started falling. 

_ He just wanted to help them.  _


	2. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _He screamed. And He screamed. He beat the poor dirt path some more. He threw up again, to the point where his stomach heaved but there was nothing left to give. He screamed to the point where his vocal cords strained and cracked and hurt. His cheeks were home to several rivers of tears. He couldn’t see anything through the thick wall of tears, just blobs of color that swirled everytime he blinked.  
>  “Sapnap?”  
> The innocent words made Sapnap tense. His body stiffened as he craned his neck around to the source of the voice. The moment his eyes made contact with wide, concerned, brown ones, his body relaxed into a sob--half relief and half pained.  
> “Hey, Gogy.” ___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !! TW VOMITING MENTIONED !!
> 
> Hello! Originally, I wasn't going to add a second chapter to this because I felt entirely satisfied with it being a oneshot. Buuuut I was just practicing writing emotional scenes and dialogue and it kinda just turned into a second chapter all on its own. It's entirely improvised and ALL over the place, but your kind comments from the last chapter made me figure I might as well share with the class. <3
> 
> Enjoy your Sapnap & Gogy hurt/comfort you little gremlins.

As soon as Sapnap’s feet touched the dirt path outside of the prison, he fell to his knees. His fingers dug into the dirt, grasping at the sparse clumps of grass for  _ something, anything _ to ground him. He felt like he was exploding yet numb at the same time. He felt heavy yet lightheaded. He wanted to scream. He wanted to puke.

When Sapnap had first left Dream’s cell, he immediately went into autopilot. He didn't let any of the events of the visit set in, otherwise he knew he would have never left that cell. 

He wandered through those dark halls with a glazed expression. Every sound he heard was muffled to his ears. It was like having emotional blinders on. 

But the moment fresh air filled his lungs, he allowed the facade to shatter. He couldn't keep up the act. It hurt way too much. 

He pressed his forehead to the ground, gritting his teeth, squeezing his eyes closed to will the tears out. Everything he felt was so  _ overwhelming _ , and he just wanted it gone. If that meant breaking down outside of the prison his best friend--former friend--was slowly wasting away inside of, so be it. 

Sapnap’s outstretched fingers slowly curled into a fist before he began to beat the ground in a blind furry. The tiny rocks embedded in the path cut his knuckles and left stinging bolts of pain that would undoubtedly become bruises. He didn't feel it, he was more focused on the pure, oozing ache inside of his heart.

“ _ Dream. I loved you.” _

The words rang throughout his mind. It echoed and terrorized him.  _ Why, why, why, why would he say that? _ Verbally saying that was not only admitting to himself, but to Dream that he once, whether or not it was still that way, saw Dream as more than what they were.

Suddenly, Sapnap found himself scrambling to the edge of the path, and vomiting into the bush closest to him. It was as if his body was rejecting the very words he said. He felt gross, angry, and resentful...but sad.

He gagged on the taste of bitter in his mouth, wiping away the lingering spit and acid at the corner of his mouth.

_ I still love you. _

The words unsaid but thought made his efforts of cleanliness to no avail. Sapnap was throwing up into the bush again as through the heavy sobs his body was forcing him to release.

He screamed. And He screamed. He beat the poor dirt path some more. He threw up again, to the point where his stomach heaved but there was nothing left to give. He screamed to the point where his vocal cords strained and cracked and hurt. His cheeks were home to several rivers of tears. He couldn’t see anything through the thick wall of tears, just blobs of color that swirled everytime he blinked.

“Sapnap?”

The innocent words made Sapnap tense. His body stiffened as he craned his neck around to the source of the voice. The moment his eyes made contact with wide, concerned, brown ones, his body relaxed into a sob--half relief and half pained.

“Hey, Gogy.”

He heard George drop to his knees beside him then felt a careful hand smooth over the flat of his upper back soothingly. 

“Sap, what are you doing out here? Why-” He could practically see George break his sentence to observe the pitiful scene Sapnap had created, even without directly looking at him. “What's going on?”

George’s hand began to rub small circles over his back, and Sapnap leaned back on his knees to face him. He pulled his sleeve over his fist, wiped away the trail of spit down his chin. He looked at George again, choking back the sob that threatened to rack through his body again.

“I went to visit him.”

Sapnap saw a quick look of confusion flick over his face before he went back to being concerned with Sapnap’s well being. Sapnap didn't miss the way George’s hand paused hesitantly before continuing.

“I don't know why, to be honest. I just needed to  _ know. _ ”

“Know what?”

“ _ Why _ . George.” Sapnap said. “Why’d he leave us.”

George didn't say anything at first, but Sapnap saw the way the corners of his mouth quirked into a sympathetic smile. He extended his arms carefully, outstretched in an inviting hug. Sapnap mentally released a sigh of relief. He crawled closer to him, resting his forehead against the dip of George’s shoulder allowing George to wrap his arms carefully around himself.

As soon as George had encompassed him, Sapnap let out a careful sob. George didn't say anything at first, just continued to carefully rub over the tense, shivering muscles, encouraging the emotional release. 

So Sapnap did. He cried, and sniffled, and cried some more. George just sat there, whispering quietly to him, comforting, and encouraging him to get it out of his system.

“That's right.” He mumbled. “Get it out.”

Sapnap laughed wetly into his shoulder. “I'm sorry you had to find me like this. Pretty pitiful.” He pulled back, looking at George. But George didn't look any better off than him, his cheeks had the same, glimmering trail of silent tears.

“Don't apologize.” He sighed, pulling Sapnap back into the hug gently, this time for his own comfort. “It hurts. It  _ really  _ fucking hurts to lose someone.”

A thin silence stretched between the two boys as they sought gentle comfort in each other's arms. 

“I don't think he really meant it.”

George just hummed. 

“No really. There was something off. He kept lying, and- and it looked like he was hiding something.”

George leaned back again looking at Sapnap-- searching for something in Sapnap. He closed his eyes, sucking in a deep, exhausted breath. “Don’t give me that.”

Sapnap’s eyebrow furrowed. “Give you what? All i'm saying is-”

“Hope.” George shut him off abruptly. He closed his eyes for a moment, allowing for tears to be pushed down his cheeks. “Don’t give me the hope he's still there, Sapnap.”

Silence again.

“It almost hurts more… To think that way, I mean. It's like we gave up on him.” George whispered, voice cracking between a choppy sniffle.

Sapnap didn't get to say another word before he was looking back up at Sapnap. His arms outstretched to clamp down on his shoulders assertively. “Please, Sapnap. You have to promise me not to chase him.”

Sapnap shook his head, confused at what George was getting at. “What-”

“I mean, please  _ stay _ . I know how badly you want him back. How badly you love him.” Sapnap shuddered. “But please.  _ Please.”  _ George’s voice was slowly rising, being more unsteady with every word. “Please don't leave me too.” His head had dropped now, hanging between in two. “I can't lose you too. We've lost too much to this stupid War, Sap.”

George knew way too much about Sapnap, he realized. That came with being friends, but the fact he could predict how badly Sapnap wanted to reach Dream and how far he was willing to go--to drive himself mad, if need be--was terrifying.

It was grounding. To see his last remaining close friend on his knees, clinging to his shoulders. It made him realize that George was still something to live for. The wound of Dream wouldn't go away soon, it would take healing, but George  _ understood _ .

Even if the world was burning down around him, as much as it felt as it currently was, George would give him the same goofy grin (what he would do to see that grin right now) to the end. They'd been through so much, they'd grown together, they loved together, they lost together, they would become whole again...together.

Sapnap wrapped his arms back around George, pulling him against his own chest this time. He rested his head on top of George, looking up to the sky before closing his eyes. “I'm so sorry, George. I'm not going anywhere.”

And suddenly Sapnap didn't feel restless anymore. His heart still ached for his old friend, that was a wound that would remain open for years, but the friend in his arms grounded him. 

As their world crashed down around them, George and Sapnap stood together at the very least. Sapnap hugged him tighter. George hugged back. 

The ache hurt a little less.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact! I originally wrote a whole section of Sapnap blaming the Egg for Dream being crazy and George turning on him because he was infected by the Egg too. I thought it was a little too much plot for a one-off and cut it off lol. Maybe another fic for another time...

**Author's Note:**

> Once again: This is posted under the consent of the CCs. If either of them come forward saying that they are uncomfortable with ships/fanfics in general, this will be be deleted immediately.  
> The characters in this post are based on the !RP characters they play on the SMP.


End file.
